The Foxy Armadillos displayed at 50% of viewport width
January 2019 by V. R. Duin


For weeks, the 'dillos life was swell,
But things don't always go so well.
The fox came back to claim his den.
How could the armadillos win?
(The Foxy Armadillos)

This armadillo book for kids generates pirate talk about Little Ray's seafaring books for children. These cannon-ball-shaped creatures are anything but boring “Armadillo Landlubbers”.

Plank-Walking Good! Nautical types define Landlubbers as someone unfamiliar with the sea. Armadillos are fully adapted to participate in and contribute to sea-roving exploits. Set sail for nighttime adventure quests.

Fly your Jolly Roger skull and cross-bone flag. Reach loot first. Matchless armadillo clues stretch beyond the pirate-themed Sea of Thieves video game built by Rare Limited and published by Microsoft Studios.

Spend jaw-dropping nights watching 'dillos. Few pirates see these nocturnal animals. Yer time would be wasted on Moby Dick or, The Whale, by Herman Melville. Whales, dolphins and porpoises sleep at night.

Armadillos are vertebrates. Bony spinal columns and skeletons shape them and protect inside body parts. Dolphins, porpoises and whales are marine mammals with bones. Most fish have bones.

Cartilaginous fish have no bones. Stingrays, rays and sharks are made of cartilage. Armadillos have some of the cartilage of these shark family members. It helps hold bones together and facilitates bending and moving.

Armadillos live on land. They share mammal features of whales and dolphins, including lungs. They have and nurse live young. Their babies are “pups”, like rays and sharks. Marine mammals have “calves”.

Avast Ye! Armadillos use clawed feet to walk along lake, stream, river or ocean bottoms and to paddle over water. Drop oars. Race them with yer arms and feet. Expect them to handsomely out swim and outrun ye.

Maritime legends! These water-goers hold their breath for six minutes; people may last two. Heave ho, “me hearties”! Work to break whale breath-holding, under-water records of up to twenty minutes.

Pirates move forward with sails. Fish inflate or deflate swim bladders to move up or down. Similarly, armadillos use stomachs and intestines to sink or float. A bilge rat would say: “these tricksters are amazing”.

Whales, porpoises, dolphins, seals and walruses have blubber. This thick, protective fat layer helps marine mammals float and insulates them from cold. It provides energy during hard times. 'Dillos store little body fat.

Yer skirvey cutlass, musket, blunderbuss or flintlock ain't worth “nuffin”. 'Dillos have tough bands or bony skin plates to safeguard against stings or bites during hunting, game-play or combat.

Critters need no booty for survival. Nature provides food and shelter. Behold three-banded armadillos tucking themselves into turtle-like cases of armor. Like stingrays and sharks, they sport tough, armor-like skin.

Grog is too watered down for these spirits. Quartermasters control ship food and supplies. Food makes life good for “little armored ones” throughout the Americas. The name hales from their Spanish roots.

Swab the poop deck”! Hard-working animals hunt daily. Like sharks, these non-picky eaters consume tasty morsels, dead or alive. Omnivores, they eat plants and animals. Some sharks add plants to their diet.

Ye won't need yer keg. Armadillos lap up water with long, sticky tongues. Their few peg-like teeth could not whittle a peg leg for Hector Barbossa, ferocious captain in Pirates of the Caribbean films.

Thar no kin of a “biscuit eater”. Like stingrays, these mammals have poor eyesight. Stingrays, sharks and armadillos largely detect prey by scent. When these marauders go after food, items of aesthetic appeal may get destroyed.

Move your brig over, Captain Hook of Peter Pan! With three-to-five powerful claws on front and hind feet, armadillos dig long, deep burrows for sleeping quarters. These rarely collapse like sand holes dug at beaches.

Powder monkeys jump ship to escape cannon powder jobs. Distractions don't bother armadillos. Scrambling on pavement, they sound like skateboards. Sharks attack nuisances. Rays flee problems.

Prepare to go ashore. 'Dillos embrace thorny brush land for travel and escape. Long clothes will get caught up in this rough terrain. Three-banded species roll into “cannon-ball-like protection” for heads and legs.

When yer shot out of a cannon, yer gonna want 'Dillo shape, form and style. These natural navigators are born waterproof. They haul few bony plates around. Wooden vessels rot in wind, sun and rain without proper care.

Dead men tell no tales. Armadillos and stingrays have lifespans that max out at 15 to 20 years. Sharks may live to 400. Pirates on warships faced early death risks from getting tossed overboard to “feed the fish”.

Yer skirvey compass and charts can't match 'dillo senses. They need no sailing master officers to check point of sail, maneuver or adjust direction. Long pointy noses and big trumpet-like ears do their navigating.

Captain Ahab, protagonist of Moby Dick would say: “It be armadillos!” Aargh Matey! The cutest of life forms do not inhabit Davy Jones' Locker, the grave of drowned sailors, squids, octopuses and eels!

Shiver Me Timbers! Nine-banded females produce one egg. It splits into four identical babies. Birth can be put on hold. Sharks also can delay delivery until the opportunities are best.

Hornswoggling beasts! Greenland sharks may wait 100 years to start procreating. Imagine the benefits of delaying parenting until stress is low. Timing birthdays earns these critters a place together.

Haul wind!Think of spin-off possibilities for this uncommon life-control method. These remarkable souls could teach buccaneers to rule the briny deep and break curses without pieces of eight.

Fire in the hole! Master gunners envy the lack of random fire, recoil or explosions in birthing. Sharks work 6 to 24 months for live birth. 'Dillo and stingray gestation averages 4 to 6 month.

Code of conduct! Sharks need no male for motherhood. Fatherless births also occur among snakes and lizards. No-male policies should should give rise to parley, talks to settle disputes. Schooners need not be manned.

Pity the famous lady pirates. They had to disguise themselves as men. Honor armadillos for fairness in separating the sexes. Each pup in an armadillo litter is of the same sex. Nature balances these living beings.

Cap the bunghole. Leaks matter to master gunners in charge of safety. Plundering is not just for lads. Lasses crash servers with this website's updates. Yo Ho Ho!

Batten down the hatches! Prepare for coming storms. The amaze-ball ability to delay birth facilitates relocations. While resettling, females limit the weight of unborn offspring.

All hands hoay! Pa and Ma 'Dillo share a burrow to care for their pups. They dig in the dirt, eat dead bugs and morph into armored balls. Pups are fully developed at birth, but their armor is soft.

Crazy is Pirates of the Sea. Forget Walt Disney theme-park rides. Unhinge from movie routines. Weigh anchor and hoist the Mizzen. Get yer sloop sailing. Yer “sea legs” will adjust on the way to warm coastal waters.

Sail ho! Blackbird won't be on an enemy ship. This famed English Pirate won't engage ye in combat. Armadillos live well to the south and west of his legendary territory along the coasts of Virginia and North Carolina.

Close in on Little Ray's friends. Like rays, 'dillos are shy and prefer not to be seen. Sharks on the move may ignore people. Stealth and a focus on bite-sized morsels are themes for these eating machines.

Anchors Aweigh! Make 'dillo escapes as you do cross-platform reads with shipmates. Win against enemy combatants. Armadillos, sharks and stingrays free orderly seas from mutinous curses.

Land ho! Ruling powers reboot an old fox's den as home for The Foxy Armadillos. An armadillo online organization is devoted to The Wonderful World of Armadillos. It gives facts about all twenty recognized species.

Get it? Ye need no ammo box to restock. Ye need no sword or pistol to brave these books. Watch armadillos in the video below so you'll recognize them sashaying as sought-after surprises on land or in water.

Foxy the Pirate? This worn out animatronic character has a role in the FNaF game series. Escape his disturbing pizzeria for The Foxy Armadillos. Shake up co-operative living with a touch of character combat.

Savvy? As fast as thar she blows, ye be wanting Little Ray's nautical world collection for yer “duffle”. Ye be loving these beasties more than cackle fruit, slang for chicken eggs!

Add 'dillo to pirate talk. Ye better or ye be walking the plank! Clue in with details from The Foxy Armadillos and Pirate Terms and Phrases from